Welcome To My Birthday Season…Yes, I Said Season!!


We have all heard of Christmas time referred to as the “Christmas Season”, right?  Although Christmas is celebrated on the 25th day of the month, there were events that led to that special day….hence the term Christmas Season.  So there are celebrations throughout the month.  Office parties, family gatherings…trips are planned around this season.  So for the most part, the whole month of December, there are people celebrating.  So, that got me thinking (what else is new, right?). 

Well…..since my birthday is in August….I’ve declared this month to be my “Birthday Season”.  And what this will mean for me is that for this entire month….I will make 1 day a week very special by doing something just for me and something that will make me feel pampered in some way.  Then the week of my birthday, I will take a road trip home to see family and friends that I haven’t seen in over 10 years!  I am so excited and looking forward to this trip.  I have been meaning to get home for a long time, but you all know how it is when you let work, issues, procrastination and everything else get in the way of doing the things you only think of doing.

Well, not this month ya’ll!! I am taking this show on the road!  I plan to take lots of pictures and some video so I can share the journey.  There are memories that I have about home that are beginning to fade, and what better way to refresh them than to get some photos!  This is actually the thing I’m looking forward to the most.  Of course, seeing family and friends is high on the list…but the trip itself is what I’m looking forward to.  Taking a drive and just spending time watching the scenes along the way change as I get closer to home.  Then, the moments when the landscape begins to look familiar….seeing landmarks that you haven’t seen in many years, and realizing how much progress has happened….all while you’ve remembered things as they used to be.  I will be counting the days until my trip!

So, again…it’s birthday season this month.  So for all the other Leos out there, here is my Birthday shout out to you all!  Make this your birthday season too and have a blast for me, cuz I’ll be celebrating for you too!

Peace…

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You’re Darned If Ya’ Do, and Darned If Ya’ Don’t!!!


Well, guys…here is another example of “you are darned if you do and darned if you don’t”.  Here’s why:

As some of you know, I’ve been going through it with my mortgage company for some time now.  The bottom line is that they will not modify my loan because “the investor will not allow it in any way, shape or form”.  So it doesn’t matter to the investor that:  1.  They have not and will continue not to receive ANY payment from me.  2.  The house will sit until they finally decide to foreclose (which so far has been scheduled and cancelled 4 times).  3. There has been little sales activity in my area and the ones that did sell went for far less than the original price.  4. And finally…it’s just smarter and better for them to go ahead and work with me instead of letting the points in 1, 2 and 3 continue.   But who am I to say what’s smart for them….right?  Right indeed.  Here is how smart they REALLY are…

I, after thoughtful consideration of all of the far reaching effects of doing so..decided to be proactive about this unfortunate turn of events.  I figured that since I was blessed to find another house to move in to that more than suits my and my family’s needs, I would take the lead in this chess game and offer to deed the home back to my lender.  I decided to cut my losses and rather than wait for the inevitable foreclosure, I would take this step in an effort to put it all behind me and begin my process of building a much stronger foundation and moving only forward….never looking back.  So I called them to find out what the steps are to get this ball rolling….and that’s when I found out that lending institutions were really insane asylums with the patients serving as customer service representatives!!!

Here is what they told me… and I quote:   CSR/Mental patient: “Ma’am, have you thought about doing a short sale?  Me: “Yes I’ve considered that, but since there have been at least 5 homes in my subdivision listed for over 2 years, I don’t really want to drag this thing out any longer than I have to”.  CSR/ Mental patient:  “Well, if you are considering doing a deed in lieu of foreclosure, we have to see if you qualify for that”.  Me:  “What do you mean, qualify?”   CSR/Mental patient:  “Well, you will have to send us a month worth of pay stubs and a letter of hardship so we can review it to see if you are eligible to deed your home back to us”.  Me:  “So…..I’ve been sending you this very same info for almost two years to see if I qualify to keep the home…which you tell me I do not.  But now I have to send you the same info so you can tell me if I qualify to give it back to you?”   CSR/Mental patient:  “Yes, that’s right”.  Me:  “Well, can you tell me what the criteria is to determine whether I would or would not qualify to deed the home back to you?”  CSR/Mental Patient:  “No ma’am….we don’t have that info, only the investor can decide”.  Me:  “So this same investor that will not allow me to keep the home could also decide not to allow me to give it back?”  CSR/Mental Patient:  “Yes, ma’am…that’s correct”.

So, now you see why this post is entitled “Darned if ya’ do and darned if ya’ don’t!  See, I have now realized that when you deal with crazy….there is no amount of reason that you can apply to the situation.  I have finally realized that all along….I’ve been fighting crazy…with REASON!!!   You can’t do that!!  You have to let crazy run it’s course.  So…that’s where I am now.  Letting crazy run it’s course.  And I’m ok with that.  In fact, these last couple of days/weeks have begun to feel much more relaxed, and in spite of a few minor speed bumps in the road….things are beginning to look a lot like tranquility.  I am so grateful for the access to this outlet of writing about the recent events and I appreciate those that take a minute to ride along with me on this journey.  One thing I know for sure is that no matter what…from now on….I’m gonna make this ride as fun and productive as I can.  So, until my next tussle comes along….I’m gonna just enjoy some calm waters.

Peace, ya’ll…

Have You Ever Had One Of “Those” Days??


I know we have all had days where things just seemed to get worse as the day went on, right?  Like somehow..right before you woke up…the planet just seemed to shift in the other direction just so your day would be thrown out of whack.  Or, at least that’s how it seemed to me just the other day.  Let me share with you how it all went down….

First of all as some of you already know, I have recently moved to another house.  So the other morning as I was waking from a night of restful sleep, I was formulating my plan for the day (as I usually do in the mornings).  I love doing this because it kind of gets me going for the day and helps me feel like I have a roadmap to follow.  My plan was to first go to the old house and get a few more things. Next I planned to go to the county water dept. to transfer the water acct. from the old house to the new one. Then finally to run by Sam’s Club to pick up a few items I needed to make my “famous chicken salad” (ya’ll will ALL know about that one day soon…stay tuned!!!), all before heading back to the new house to drop everything off so I could then head in to work.  Now….this was the plan….but remember I said the universe had shifted in the other direction…so that’s not at all what happened!!  Here is how it actually went down.

When I got the the old house, I went inside and gathered up a few things that I knew would be easy to carry and easy to load into the car and I proceeded to do just that.  Making a few trips up and down the stairs was ok…I always like to incorporate a little excercise when I can (LOL!!).  So this part of my plan was going like clockwork.  But….when I got back into my car to start on the second leg of my journey..that’s when that shifting of the universe kicked in!  My car battery was DEAD!!!  Not just on life support dead…I mean flatline dead!!  No little rest then try it again…..DEAD!!  So there starts the downward spiral.  I immediately went into that mode…you know the mode…”why me, Lord…why now!!”   I thought about who I could call who could give me a jump start, I thought of calling work to tell them I wasn’t going to make it, or at least…not on time.  I don’t even have any jumper cables, and I figured that since I needed a new battery anyway that I would concentrate on doing just that…finding a way to get to an auto parts store so I could buy a battery.  So now it’s “who is available to come an take me around”.  Since my fiance was at work and doesn’t always have immediate access to a phone, I decided to call my sister, who doesn’t live that far away and is self employed and works from home.  Ok, first crisis under control.  She came to pick me up and we headed to the auto parts store to get a battery….all is back on track…or is it?

We get the the store and I find the battery that fits my car.  The clerk spins the screen around (as they do to prove to you they are telling you exactly what the correct info is….I call it the big reveal!!), and the cost for the battery is $158 and change.  Ok that was enough to send me back to bed, but I pressed on.  But when she took me to the shelves to show me the battery, I told her it didn’t look like that one would even fit into my car.  She insisted that it would and promised that it was the right one, so I went ahead and bought it and they took it out to my sister’s SUV and loaded it into the back.  We then sat in the car and looked at each other.  Niether of us had EVER changed out a battery and we didn’t even have a screwdriver between us to do it anyway!  But…I remebered that the guy that I bought my car from has a mechanic shop just down the street.  I told my sister to take me by there and I would ask him what he suggested about getting the battery in.  We rode by there and just by chance he was there (long story…he usually is AWOL!!), so ok…back in business!!  He let one of his mechanics ride with us back to my house so that he could install the battery…talk about service!!!  We were back on our merry way and all was going to be fine, right?    Not on this planet!!

So we lift my hood and the guy takes one look and says…”This battery ain’t gon fit ma’am” .  So…I’m not crazy!!  I thought it looked too big to fit into my car, but noooo!  They assured me that it would fit….well, you get the picture.  But guess what?  The mechanic said that his cousin lives a few houses down (go figure?) and he would go there to get some jumper cables and jump my car off so we could take mine to the store.  This way we would be sure to get the right battery.  We do this and my sister follows us back there to make sure everything is ok.  We exchange the batteries, install the correct one and then turn in my old one.  Wow!  Now it seems that everything is fine because my car fires up like the beast that I know she is!!  We are off and running!  The mechanic doesn’t even charge me for his services!!  Of course I offered to buy him lunch to show my appreciation and he says that will be fine.  So now…we are good right?  Well, not just yet!!  I know ya’ll think I’m making this up….I assure you that I’m not.  Read on!!

So, I continue on to the county water department to take care of that business….and all went smoothly!  No lines, immediate service and no out of pocket costs.  I was very pleased with this and felt a sense of relief to have this taken care of.  I continued on to Sam’s club to get the stuff I needed for my chicken salad.  Then I got home to unload everything so I could go on to work….slightly late, but better late than never, right?  Before leaving I decided to give the dogs some water and when I turned on the faucet…..(I bet you didn’t even see this coming)….NO WATER!!!  I couldn’t believe it!  Why was this happening to me!!  I called the water department and they said, “oh..we see here that there was a work order to turn off the water at that address for this morning”.  I asked why they hadn’t mentioned that when I transferred the account and they said it was mistakenly overlooked.  I said, ok..since it was mistake, have them come back and turn the water on.  They said…”well, we can’t do it today, it will have to be tomorrow”.  I lost it at this point!  I said some things that ya’ll would hardly believe could come out of my mouth, but oooh I was hot!!  But right at that moment I realized something.  Why not handle all of these situations with grace and humor?  Why not look at these things just like say, a fun brain teaser or a riddle that needs to be figured out?  Why not say “bring it on” and use this as a challenge to see how I can use my ingenuity to figure out how to overcome?  And guess what?  Everything seemed to shift in that moment!!  I realized I still had electricity and water at the hold house!  I could go there, cook there, shower there and all would be fine tomorrow!  I could go on to work, and then after work, go to the old house, take care of business and sleep in peace that night.  Then awaken and the world would be spinning in the right direction the next day.  Guess what?  That’s exactly what happened!  I didn’t die of lack of water.  And I also had some things to be thankful for. 

I had a sister that could drive me around and, she was available.  I had the funds available to buy the battery.  I had a mechanic that was willing to ride with me to my house to install my battery free of charge.  I had an alternate address to cook, shower and sleep that was comfortable and I didn’t have to make a reservation!!  And….I don’t even have to be at work until almost noon…so I wan’t even really all that late.

You see…I really understand that it’s all about your perspective!  If I let all of that bring me down, my whole day would have seemed ruined beyond repair.  But since I chose to laugh at it all and find the good in it….I found that I had more to be thankful about than I had to be mad at.  Bad things happen all the time, but it’s how we choose to handle those things that helps us to grow and helps us to really rise above our mishaps.  Yes we’ve all had one of “those” days, but next time you do…remember…find the positives it your mishaps and I promise you they won’t last long and they won’t even seem so bad!!

Has Time Changed You…Mellowed You?


When we were young, we loved to daydream about our perfect life and what it would look and feel like.  We imagined ourselves in our dream careers, with our perfect husbands /wives and children and living in our dream homes, right?  Hey, some of us are STILL  dreaming!!  Well, whether you are a man or a woman, I know you all have your picture of what the most desireable of lives would look like…..but of course for most people…our lives look and feel very different from they way our dreams depicted them.   In some cases…that’ s great.  But in other cases…not so much!!

When you are young, you are very sure about what you want and do not want, what you will tolerate and so forth.  As you get older, sometimes you find that things you allow now would have never been tolerated some years ago.  Some say that it’s because you are more afraid of being alone or that you lower your standards to some degree if you are still single past a certain age.  I tend to disagree with that opinion.  Yeah I know, I can hear you saying that I’m trippin’…..oh come on…I heard you!  LOL!!  Well, let me break it on down for you a bit more…:)  I will give you an example of some things I have mellowed out about over the years.

Ok, here we go.  So, when I was 24 years old…the guy I was dating was pretty successful and worked very hard at his job.  He was very accomplished for his age and was given the priviledge of managing his own retail location in the audio/electronics field.  I was really proud of him and granted…this was my first really serious relationship, so I didn’t have a point of reference on how I should handle the ups and downs of my relationship with him.  Nevertheless, I thought I was very equipped at that time to handle a mature relationship.  Now, with his big title came huge responsibility.  Late evenings working, travel and relocation to another store (out of state), sometimes customers coming by the house for “side jobs”…etc.  Needless to say….I had a problem with the time he spent working and tending to work matters.  I felt that he wasn’t paying enough attention to me and I do admit that sometimes…I made him feel bad for how much he cared about his job.  I know (now) that it was selfish of me to express this to him, but I was not mature enough to understand.  Now…fast forward over the years and now….I can really appreciate a man that works hard and is dedicated to his profession!  I understand it takes spending time and building your career if you want to take it easy later in your life…so although care needs to be taken to spend quality time with your significant other, you have to put in the work in order to build your business.  As a young lady, I couldn’t wrap my mind around that.  But….as an older woman, I almost expect it.  Therefore….I’ve matured and mellowed a bit and I can see the value in  a man who works long and hard.  I don’t get upset about the amount of time spent….I concentrate on the quality of time spent.  Have I lowered my standards?  Heck no!!!  I have however learned to appreciate the dedication it takes to make it in business, so I can understand long workdays and a man who tries hard to balance work and home. 

There are more examples like this, but I challenge you to look back and remember your “list of things you must have in a relationship”  that you made when you were younger, and compare it to what you now feel should be on that list and how it has evolved over the years.  Have you mellowed out and learned to be more accepting and understanding?  Or have you held your ground, remained steadfast in your “list of things you will or will not accept?”

Send your comments and let me know what you think about this topic.

Peace!

Don’t Wait For Something To Happen….Make It Happen!


Have you ever found yourself waiting for something big to happen before you make a hard or life changing decision? Like for instance, if you are not happy with your job and want to be doing something different…do you wait for something to piss you off before you begin looking for something else?? Or maybe you are in an unhappy relationship of some type and really unfulfulled, but you wait for a big fight to make a move to leave it? You know what I mean…do you wait for a sign or an affirmation of sorts before you pull the trigger and make a big change? Well, I have found that I sometimes do that very thing myself. But, I’ve gotta tell you…as I get older (and a bit wiser), I am learning really fast that I have to start trusting my intuition more often and just refuse to languish in this life waiting for something outside of me before I bust a move!!

You see, God has more than equipped us to know in most cases what would be the best move for our lives. But somehow, we’ve gotten more comfortable with listening to others instead of listening to our own inner voice. Can’t you agree that when you look back over your life, that there are many examples of times when you knew almost immediately which road to take? However…I bet…just like a lot of people do…you asked someone else’s opinion first..(friend, co-worker, loved one, etc.), and all that really did was cloud the waters even more, right!! You see, that’s because we have gotten away from trusting in our own ability to make decisions. Forget the media, forget yo’ cousin’s sista’s friend’s mother in law (LOL!!). Forget all of that….and listen to the voice within YOU. Understand the power that God blessed you with (intuition). Learn to listen to that and tune out the rest…and I bet you that you’ll begin to feel so much more empowered and focused. Tune out the interference and the white noise and unleash the power that lies within.

Be Blessed!

Simple Pleasures That Mean So Much..


It’s funny, but when I daydream about how fabulous of a life I would love to be living, how big of a home or what kind of material things I would love to possess, it feels really good and I get so excited.  But the truth is that it rarely gives me the same joyful feeling as something simple that is already within my reach.

 

For example, I had a very good friend that passed away last year.  RC was doing very well financially and he loved to share his fortunate position in life with his friends….ok…he was sort of a “show-off”  LOL!!  But really, even though he was a show-off, he still really had a good heart and loved to entertain and have people over to his home.  And what a home he had!  I met him when I was a mortgage loan officer , and he was buying his first home.  This was about 8 years ago.   RC was 24 at the time and we just hit it off and became friends from there.  Long story short….he was quite well off and so he had a lot of “big boy’s toys” like boats (cabin cruisers and jet boats), luxury cars and of course that fantastic home.  I spent a lot of time with him and he showed me a side of life that I had only dreamed of.  Spending the weekend out on the lake on a luxury cabin cruiser, dining out, the whole nine yards.  I thought, “Wow, how can I grab this life and run with it?”  And in case anyone was wondering….no RC and I were not dating….he was kinda like my best “girl” friend….if you catch my drift!!!  Anywhoo….

I knew that hanging out with him was sort of like the daydreams I have about being financially free to plan your days as you see fit.  This was not my “normal” everyday life, but still lot’s of fun all the same.  But as fun as it was, and as fantastic as it felt to experience that…you know what feels even better than that did?  Waking up in the morning, with the ceiling fan blowing..with my sweethart (Anthony) next to me …and our two doggies (Roscoe and Sugar) curled up on the foot of the bed!  I can tell you that when I wake up and they are all around me….I feel in that moment that I have everything I need, and that’s a wonderful feeling.  I know it may sound silly to some, but for me….it’s a little piece of heaven.

Sometimes, the simplest of things make the biggest impressions on our hearts.

Peace..