Has Time Changed You…Mellowed You?

When we were young, we loved to daydream about our perfect life and what it would look and feel like.  We imagined ourselves in our dream careers, with our perfect husbands /wives and children and living in our dream homes, right?  Hey, some of us are STILL  dreaming!!  Well, whether you are a man or a woman, I know you all have your picture of what the most desireable of lives would look like…..but of course for most people…our lives look and feel very different from they way our dreams depicted them.   In some cases…that’ s great.  But in other cases…not so much!!

When you are young, you are very sure about what you want and do not want, what you will tolerate and so forth.  As you get older, sometimes you find that things you allow now would have never been tolerated some years ago.  Some say that it’s because you are more afraid of being alone or that you lower your standards to some degree if you are still single past a certain age.  I tend to disagree with that opinion.  Yeah I know, I can hear you saying that I’m trippin’…..oh come on…I heard you!  LOL!!  Well, let me break it on down for you a bit more…:)  I will give you an example of some things I have mellowed out about over the years.

Ok, here we go.  So, when I was 24 years old…the guy I was dating was pretty successful and worked very hard at his job.  He was very accomplished for his age and was given the priviledge of managing his own retail location in the audio/electronics field.  I was really proud of him and granted…this was my first really serious relationship, so I didn’t have a point of reference on how I should handle the ups and downs of my relationship with him.  Nevertheless, I thought I was very equipped at that time to handle a mature relationship.  Now, with his big title came huge responsibility.  Late evenings working, travel and relocation to another store (out of state), sometimes customers coming by the house for “side jobs”…etc.  Needless to say….I had a problem with the time he spent working and tending to work matters.  I felt that he wasn’t paying enough attention to me and I do admit that sometimes…I made him feel bad for how much he cared about his job.  I know (now) that it was selfish of me to express this to him, but I was not mature enough to understand.  Now…fast forward over the years and now….I can really appreciate a man that works hard and is dedicated to his profession!  I understand it takes spending time and building your career if you want to take it easy later in your life…so although care needs to be taken to spend quality time with your significant other, you have to put in the work in order to build your business.  As a young lady, I couldn’t wrap my mind around that.  But….as an older woman, I almost expect it.  Therefore….I’ve matured and mellowed a bit and I can see the value in  a man who works long and hard.  I don’t get upset about the amount of time spent….I concentrate on the quality of time spent.  Have I lowered my standards?  Heck no!!!  I have however learned to appreciate the dedication it takes to make it in business, so I can understand long workdays and a man who tries hard to balance work and home. 

There are more examples like this, but I challenge you to look back and remember your “list of things you must have in a relationship”  that you made when you were younger, and compare it to what you now feel should be on that list and how it has evolved over the years.  Have you mellowed out and learned to be more accepting and understanding?  Or have you held your ground, remained steadfast in your “list of things you will or will not accept?”

Send your comments and let me know what you think about this topic.



1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. fuzzy
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 13:43:13

    times change, so do people. the only constant is change itself.
    this was a good read 🙂 good work
    please do check up on my blog, http://www.afuzzyrants.wordpress.com. call this “shameless self-promotion” 😛


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